Three Tips From The Top
South London and its composite boroughs are a strange place, a place full of juxtaposition; the young cohabit with the old, the wealthy share adjoining walls with the unemployed, Afro-Caribbean barber shops stay open all night and squat parties thrown by art collectives stay open even longer.
In a place so culturally boundless it is hard to keep track what’s what, who’s who and who you yourself even are - especially if like many of its citizens you’re an arts student recently expatriated from some suburb in the back end of nowhere.
Things may seem strange to newcomers, indeed when I first moved to New Cross I found it hard to get to sleep for the constant wailing of police sirens. But as I came to learn, this is but one of many quirks and eccentricities one has to put up with when living on the gaudier side of the river.
If only there was a blog way back then that sought to aquatint me with the nuances of South London living. Thankfully there's one here now, and its three tips for getting by down South without losing too much of your soul.
This is that blog, by the way, if you didn't get the whole meta-textual angle I was going for.
- Be smart when it comes to bendy busses: Now, I know every one looks to the bendy bus as a convenient and virtually free mode of transport, but ever since they kicked Red Ken out of City Hall there's been a bit of a crack down. Transport for London has random spot checks to see if you've tapped in for your journey and they're dishing out £20 fines like they were bird seed. The trick here is to always have £1.20 on your oyster, just in case you find yourself in a situation where they're storming the bus like the gestapo they are. I ended up having to pay a grand to these guys once.
- Don't head to a party till at least 11.30: South London is one of those places where everyone knows everyone but not really enough to have a conversation that isn't excruciatingly awkward, over the course of your time here you're going to make a lot of "acquaintances." These acquaintances will for the most part be the people whose house parties you go to, and they'll have a whole circle of friends made up of people you barely know. If you head to one of their parties a little to early, say anywhere between 9 and 10, you'll end up having to partake in the awkward social melee that is exchanging pleasantries with people whose names you keep forgetting. That all might sound a little anti social, and whilst I agree that life's too short not take any opportunity to make friends, its also way too short to waste an hour and a half of your life in a front room full of about four people trying not to look too bored whilst you text your mates find out when the hell they're gonna get here.
- Get some work done, dummy: I understand that you're young, you're trying to make your way in the big city. I won't blame you for thinking that your life is like a greyer, more poverty stricken version of The OC, but try and prioritise things just a little. Whilst late nights and early starts might be a fundament of university life, going bald from overdue essay stress isn't the look this year. Avoid going nuts by offsetting having a good time with doing some actual work every now and then, I might sound like your dad but its all very true.
